Within this post I would like to simply discuss this blog itself, and the self commitment I have made to writing to be able to now have reached 100 posts on this blog site.
As who I was in the past, I would have never imagined writing 100 articles – let alone ones with real content that were not just me ranting and raving alone lol. Although, it has taken me enough time to reach this time – more time that I would have liked, but at the same time, I have wanted to make sure that my writing has been effective and relevant, and not just writing for the sake of feeling like I am doing/saying more than I am. I have done the latter before, in my own journal I have hundreds upon hundreds of pages – but much of the older stuff was not as constructive or effective, and at times it has seemed like I was writing in circles and just trying to say/do more than I was. Almost like another way of avoiding facing myself, by making it looks/feel like I was doing more than I really was.
However, it was pointed out to me that sometimes writing for the sake of writing is cool, from the perspective of simply pushing through the resistance to write. I can always write, and when I do write, I definitely prefer to not just spew bullshit lol.
I have always found – when I have actually done it and seen for myself – that consistent writing is always an extremely effective self support tool – the same with consistent vlogging. It is strange how I don’t always ‘remember’ this when I am going through tough times. Probably not as strange, is when I don’t remember to do this during ‘good times’ – meaning, the times that I am experiencing some kind of nice, fun life experience where things are apparently just so fun and nice that apparently writing is not necessary. It is like, just because I seem to be having fun in that moment, all my history, problems and the whole person I have become, just magically disappears? Lol.
Sounds a bit like our civil-lie-zation and the predicament we as a species are facing on earth. With for instance the threat of climate change and the destruction of our world and civilization. We are all aware to some degree or another that this world is in critical condition, and that if we continue as we have been – we’re fucked – and yet everyone just seems to be able to find ways to ignore it all and continue on with our lives, living the way we always have, in ignorant bliss. It feels like fun for a while, until one day, life comes knocking at our door to say “HELLo! wake up! This is what you’re doing! This is who you are!”
We get these reminders as rude awakenings from time to time – but how many will it take for us to stand up from our delusional ways? Eventually, the wake up calls – as our chance and opportunity to do something and change – will cease and we will run out of chances. There is a deadline – whether it is the deadline of our own death or the death of the planet does not matter – because with either one comes the death of our opportunity to change and make this world a heaven for everyone to experience and enjoy equally.
That is what we are here to do aren’t we? Have we really been so fooled as to believe that our ‘purpose in life’ is just to make ourselves feel special and nice and happy, while the world burns? Are we so misguided, that we actually believe this to be our divine purpose? Would our divine purpose not be to stand up, face our greatest fear that is ourselves, and sort out ourselves and this world? There is no greater challenge than that, there is no ‘higher calling’ than that.
This I am able to see, because it is my greatest fear – so, I push on with my writing, I continue to walk my process. Self honesty writing and self forgiveness in writing is really the most effective tool I have ever found to assist and support me out of this mental mess I have gotten myself into – if someone has found a better, more effective way to self reflect and stop the mind and change what we have become, I would like to hear it! If one has resistance to writing, I would suggest to stop for a moment and humbly, self honestly look at the nature of the fear/resistance to writing. Excuses are useless and only serve to bring about more consequences to the fuck up we have already allowed to manifest – and it will not magically go away until we stop it – until we stop ourselves.
Will it take a lot of hard work? Yes. Will it take dedication? Yes. Will it take commitment? Yes. Will it take self honesty? Yes. Will it take self forgiveness? Yes. Will it take all kinds of things that are necessary to be done, that we don’t want to do, that we will have resistance to doing it? Yes. Will it take overcoming our greatest fears, and even doing things that we never even conceived we were ever capable of doing, defying all of our own self imposed limits and beliefs about ourselves? Yes. So, I can say that it will surely involve all these things. Seems like a lot, doesn’t it?
But what are the certainties of the consequences of what will happen if we don’t do this? We are living in it – have a look at this world – try to find the worst things imaginable that is taking place on earth – these are the guaranteed consequences. And if you are still trying to deceive yourself with the reassurance that this will never happen to you, first ask yourself – why is it ok with you that it could happen to another and not you? Is this what you would sentence another to, be ‘ok’ with this happening to another, and not yourself? Is it your will to sentence others to this fate as you find it acceptable as long as it does not happen to you?
The answers to life and the ‘bigger questions’ that we face here on earth are really simplistic – it is the bullshit stories that we make up in our minds that are unnecessarily complicated, that keep us from seeing/realizing/understanding such simplistic common sense truths. Stop the bullshit story. Get to know how it works so that we can free ourselves from this mass delusion, set life free, and give to others the life we would wish for ourselves. Because when the day comes you are in a position of where you are subject to the decisions that others make on behalf of your life, this is what you will be wishing others would do for you.
For more on my history in writing, I also suggest to visit my old blog at http://adrianblackburn.wordpress.com/