Day 117: Ignoring the mind – part 2

Image

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself through ignoring the mind – either through suppressing my thoughts, feelings and emotions or simply disregarding what I am aware of through and as the mind as what I am participating in when a point is fully understood as its origin, manifestation as thought/feeling/emotion and thus its consequential outflow/play out

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within past habits/acceptances and allowances wherein I did not have the tools to understand/work out the mind by not utilizing the tools I have now to understand/work out the mind

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to ignore negative judgments others have of me while still desiring to be judged positively by others – not realizing that these two points go hand in hand and that one cannot exist without the other – and from this, believing that I can somehow escape the negative judgments while attracting the positive judgments

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ignore the mind – as the awareness that something is ‘not right’ as understanding that there is a consequential outflow to my actions, in favor of giving into desires/wants – and that, this does not mean necessarily that I must suppress wants/desires, but that rather I must face them and do the necessary self investigation to understand them and see, understand realize who I am within them through self honest writing – however, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to simply ignore what I do certainly understand about some desires/points where I know their origin, how they are manifested and thus how they will play out, as an act of stupidity in making a quick decision in ignorance as if I were ‘jumping off a cliff’ and simply ‘hoping for the best’ as if the predictable consequence will somehow magically not happen

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be reckless – believing that I am invulnerable/invincible as a result of a life/childhood experience where I was privileged, provided safety and had no real understanding of how life works and thus acted as if life was a game without consequences, as it was presented to me this way

 

I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to illusion myself through believing that I want and need certain things that I must pursue and acquire with reckless abandon as a general neglect/disregard for life

 

I commit myself to be aware of my thoughts and investigate my thoughts when and as I see myself caught in the act of thinking, to see the real nature of my thoughts and what they are indicating and immediately and unconditionally do self forgiveness on them – this can be done through writing, aloud, or even in my mind as long as I am the directive principle in utilizing the voice and applying the forgiveness – this makes self forgiveness possible anywhere, any time

 

I commit myself to stop the habitual behavior of helplessness within the belief that I am incapable of supporting myself/sorting out the mind through engrained past experiences of not understanding self/the mind, and to utilize all tools at my disposal in investigating, understanding and sorting out the mind as myself

 

When and as I see myself desiring to be judged positively by others and to manipulate my presentation of me/their impression of me – I stop, I breathe, I see how this is a desire based on fear with the inevitable outflow of wanting to escape/ignore negative judgments of me and manipulate my presentation of self/how others perceive me, and I do not participate in this game of good/bad or likeable/unlikable characters as the desire exist within my mind as my thoughts, feelings and emotions

 

When and as I am aware resonantly that something is ‘not right’/’off’/of a self dishonest nature – I investigate this point to see in specificity what I am participating within and how I am participating to see if self deception exist, and to stop the tendency to suppress myself due to a general/vague awareness that something is ‘wrong’ – instead, I stop, I breathe, and I investigate myself and my reality and my actions through self writing

 

When and as I see myself simply ignoring what I already understand and am aware of as my participation in desires where I see the consequential as not being best for self/all as a form of ignorance to the mind as my desires – I stop myself, I breathe, I realize that there are no ways of avoiding consequence as what I am participating in is not what is best for all, and I do not participate in this tendency to simply ‘go for it’, and the tendency to ‘hope’ that everything will somehow magically be fine – I see and realize the consequential outflows of my actions and no longer allow myself to deceive myself through the fear of giving up this desire which pushes me to simply ‘go for it’ – realizing that if I give this point up, only then may I see who I really am and what the consequences of self honest living would be

 

I commit myself to see and find out what the consequences of self honest living are

When and as I see myself wanting/desiring to act with reckless abandon, where I will be reckless in abandoning myself/life in favor of my desires as what I believe I want – I stop, I breathe – I realize and understand that this tendency was engrained through leading a privileged life where I did not always see or understand the consequences of my actions and thus  believed that there were no consequences/that I was invincible – I no longer allow myself to act/live this way as I realize that all my actions have direct consequences and thus all consequences created must be within the context of what would be best for all life

 

I commit myself to see through all illusions that have me disregard self/self honesty/life/the physical through no longer participating within my desires to pursue them with reckless abandon – as only then will I see through the illusions and who I am when I stand for/as life

 

www.desteni.org

www.desteniiprocess.com

www.equalmoney.org

About these ads

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s