Day 119: Pretty Woman – part 2

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Here I am doing self forgiveness on the points I wrote in my previous ‘pretty woman’ blog on how I have defined pretty as certain attributes which I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from, which I then have sought to ‘re-connect’ with and pursue through finding a female partner that I believe embodies/represents these attributes. As well as this I will be looking at the structured design of how I have defined ‘pretty’ as a picture with certain geometric properties. For context I suggest to read the first blog as all self forgiveness statements will be directly based on the ranting and raving done in the first blog.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have defined someone who is pretty based on an expression of happiness, joy, or jubilance – either as a self expression or as an ‘energetic experience of being high on life’ – as attributes that are associated with being feminine and thus embodied within the definition I have created as pretty – within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to experience these attributes/expressions through another that I believe embodies them as a ‘pretty female’, not realizing that this desire is created through self separating these attributes/expressions from self

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that certain facial expressions are happiness, joy, or jubilance, based on the picture-memory association I have created between these expressions and certain pictures, which I observed in my earlier years in life with some of the first women who I was ever ‘attracted to’ in terms of seeing these pictured expressions which I believed I was separate from, and desired to experience/re-connect with them through another – not realizing that these pictures are simply pictures and inherently mean nothing, as they are able to be deliberately faked or even pathologically conjured as energetic expressions

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have defined ‘pretty’ as: full lips, large, round or well defined cheeks, soft clear unwrinkled skin, large or exotically shaped eyes, a small nose, an under-pronounced chin, and symmetry within the overall structure of the face – within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assess a woman’s ‘pretty-ness’ based on the degree to which she possesses these geometrical properties/attributes.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to associate these geometrical properties with the word pretty and thus associate this picture representation with attributes such as joy, happiness, jubilance, innocence and femininity, and that within what I have defined as ‘pretty’ and ‘feminine’ exist these attributes that I have separated myself from as who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and believe of who I am as a male, who then is driven to pursue and experience that which I have separated myself from as these attributes

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have associated this picture representation with ‘pretty’ and ‘femininity’ with attributes such as: gentleness, kindness, sweetness, innocence, elegance and gracefulness as attributes that I have separated myself from which I then seek to experience through another who I believe embodies these attributes through how I have associated their picture representation with these attributes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from joy, happiness, jubilance, innocence, gentleness, kindness, sweetness, elegance and gracefulness – I accept myself as these attributes through continuing throughout my process to see how I have separated myself from these attributes through my self-created definition as a male whose attributes are defined in separation to these attributes – realizing that all self definition I have created can only be based on/relative to what I am not and that through defining myself as certain points within my-self definition as a male, I am separating myself from life as all expressions of life as life cannot be limited to only certain expressions as life is equal

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