Yesterday I wrote about my relationship with food and sleep which opened up a bigger point of ‘who I am’ in my world, of being lazy, sluggish, and generally resistant to living and applying myself which had become an engrained kind of way of life, where I will for instance be lazy and sluggish with sleep or some forms of entertainment, and then want to go to the other extreme of moving very ‘fast’ where I want to be very stimulated and do interesting and exciting things that stimulate me, like for instance eating certain food or doing certain activities – entertainment also plays a part within this, oddly enough.
What supported me in developing this perspective – aside from investigating through how I experience myself and live through writing in self reflection – was a video I watched my Matti Freeman where he talks about people doing things like extreme sports that is actually based in an experience of boredom and experiencing self as ‘less than’. I had seen this point before of how people do things like this because they are so depraved that the go looking for thrills, but Matti explains this in his video very clearly and with effective language that shows the extent of how this mind construct works, in terms of it’s origin point and subsequent play-outs – as I am still beginning to see how this relates to my life, even though it is not in extreme cases like extreme sport thrill seeking. I suggest you watch this video.
2013 – Secret to a Life without Boredom:
This is an overall societal/cultural condition that does exist within everyone’s life to some degree or another, and while it can even be seen in the effect on natural living experiences like sleeping and eating, there are also obviously some things that we do outright just to have this experience. One of those things for me is watching pro sports.
I remember a time when pro sports really did not interest me at all. I remember my step father getting tickets to go see a game and he offered me to go with my sister. Little did I know at this age (12) that pro hockey was a big deal and these were ‘hot tickets’ and why they were surprised I didn’t want to go. Eventually, I started going to games in my teen years with my step father. I didn’t know much about hockey, but everyone else seemed to. I just knew that if the home team scores or wins, that is good, and if the other team scores on us or wins, that’s bad. I would jump up and applaud like everyone else. At this time I had already started playing American football competitively too, so overall sports started to become a ‘bigger deal’ in my teen years, whereas when I was young I played soccer and baseball, or games in gym class but didn’t really care that much, other than again the vague notion that winning was good/fun.
As we kept going to these hockey games, they became more intense. Our local hockey team started making the playoffs and there was a big rivalry with the Toronto hockey team. As people look back at this time, it is considered some of the ‘golden years’ of entertainment as far as its history goes, with the rival being so intense. And it was. The games were crazy and the fans were crazy – a real competitive cult like mentality, where people got so carried away with this game. This is where the love of watching sports – hockey in particular – stuck with me. I became a ‘fan’ of my home team and have always followed them ever since.
Obviously since I started learning about equality, self honesty, self forgiveness, and the complete mess that our world is in right now and how that works – through mind control and cult mentality/brainwashing – my perspective has changed somewhat on this in terms of it obviously being what it is as just another aspect/manifestation of this problem we have in our world. Conditioning people to be competitive, spiteful, distracting us from the real things that matter in life with pointless entertainment where we literally do the same thing and play the same game over and over again, engraining repetitiveness and narrow-mindedness as a way of life – all as an overall societal and CULTural way of life.
So while this experience isn’t nearly as intense as it used to be for me, I am not as emotionally invested, I still have a habit of checking out games and highlights and things. The world of sports is amazing this way because there is SO MUCH sports media that one could literally waste their entire days entertaining themselves with sports media, and I’m sure some people in this world do.
It is a pointless habit really. As I mentioned, it does not even bring me the same kind of excitement or thrills that it used to. At this point it is more simplistically about distracting and preoccupying myself with pointless stuff that doesn’t matter – going back to the whole ‘laziness as a way of life’ point. And I have used this ‘pointless stuff’ aspect of it to even justify it as being an ok thing to do, as if it has no consequence, like “oh well it is just mindless entertainment, like I spend enough time working and doing serious real world stuff, I just want to kick back and have some mind numbing entertainment for a little while”. But the fact is, it doesn’t numb my mind, it stimulates my mind which numbs me through having me preoccupied and stimulated with really pointless shit that has no real positive consequence for me or anyone.
I decided to bring up this point as something that I can change relatively easily and immediately – although even this is an engrained habit and there will still be the desire to tend to want to ‘go back there’ and watch sports – because this is one of the easier things to change, whereas sorting out my relationship with things like sleep, food or sex may be a longer process. Following pro sports is something I can simply stop, and Today I am making a commitment to myself to stop watching pro sports for at least 21 days – to see who I become during this time and who I am at the end of this period – as certainly stopping any engrained habit/pattern is sure to bring a real change to one’s life in terms of how they perceive and experience themselves and their world.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to watch and follow sports
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that participating in watching sports is time wasted where nothing in my life actually improves as I am simply engaging in a mental experiences that resonantly excites old memories of times where I believed I enjoyed being a sports fan because of the feeling/experience I created through associating a myself with competing athletes, and teams
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create positive associations between myself and competing athletes where I live vicariously through them through the ups and downs of watching them win or lose, or doing ‘neat tricks’ that are apparently impressive – not realizing that it is all just done for money and serves to simply distract people from what is real/important while a small few run away with all the money
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that professional athletes are superior or interesting or that the skills they exhibit are interesting or exciting as they only serve to do the same essential thing over and over again – that is to compete, win and make money
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a positive association with all the colors and logos of sports teams that act like beacons representing fun and entertainment apparently
I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to justify participating in sports as apparently having no consequence because it is just pointless entertainment – not realizing the consequence of the mental effect it is having on me through engraining mind constructs of inferiority/superiority and laziness/the desire for stimulation
I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to believe that when I am watching pro sports I am resting – not seeing the obvious fact that it is actually stimulating my mind as stirring up energy
I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to live vicariously through pro athletes through brining up past memories of being a competitive athlete and wanting to be recognized as an athlete through believing that athletes/athletics are cool – just because everyone else believes it is so
I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to realize that pro sports is just another cult that does not have the best interests of life
I forgive myself that I’ve allowed myself to fear not participating in pro sports as entertainment believing that life will be more boring or dull – not realizing that this is in fact the addictive personality of the mind speaking and projecting itself and that giving up watching pro sports with have absolutely no negative consequences whatsoever in my life
When and as I see myself wanting/desiring to follow pro sports through websites, television and radio, participating in this habitual action or coming up with ideas/justifications/beliefs as to why this is acceptable to participate in – I stop, I breathe and I do not participate within and as this desire
I commit myself to stop watching/following pro sports for a minimum of 21 days to see who I am within this experience of giving up watching pro sports